the bureaucratic machine thrives in Schöneberg

I actually found this online...don't even ask how...

[Disclaimer: this may be one of those complaints like when people complain about airports and travel stress...and after the fact it doesn't really interest anyone, but it feels like such a big deal in the moment...but I need a little rant anyways...]

Have you ever had an experience with customs outside of the airport? I hadn't until living in Berlin...and now I've been twice in four months. (I have dear friends in the US who have sent me packages! Thanks Jessica and Jennie!) My friends used the US post office customs sticker (that green thing), but apparently that is not clear enough for the Germans. The writing is admittedly pretty light, but it's so obviously a private package, not worth hundreds of dollars!! But I got a slip in my mailbox that I had a package at the customs, and had to bike 8 km to the Zollamt (customs office) in Schöneberg to pick it up.

http://www.morgenpost.de/berlin/article1906478/Warum-man-im-Berliner-Zollamt-lange-warten-muss.html

It's on bar with other German bureaucracy, like city hall where you register, or the foreign office where you get your visa. First I waited in line to get a number (maybe 20 mins), and then waited in a second waiting area for my number to be called on one of those boards with light-up red numbers(about 45 mins). I went to the desk, had to open the package in front of someone, and they see it's obviously a private gift, and that's it (20 seconds). Seriously! So frustrating! And you often have to wait 2-3 hrs. When I think about the cost to have 3 employees help me (not to mention the people in the warehouse), and to store people's packages for 2 weeks...It's crazy!! And from what I understand, almost everything that's from the US (or not the EU) has to go through there. I guess it's mostly eBay packages, and other mail-order or internet-order stuff from out of the country. Does the US control this?! Has anyone had to pick up a package at customs?

Technically, unlike when you travel, you can only order things free-of-cost in the mail up to 22 EUR, or 45 EUR if it is a gift. So I suppose they do make some money on some people, through eBay purchases or something. I guess the US should stop using those green customs stickers that are un-readable!

By the way, if you read German and have gone through this experience, you may laugh at some of these posts "reviewing" the Zollamt.  Someone said it reminds them of the worst experiences of DDR (East German) bureaucracy.

Bürokratie, continued, and to be continued...

So the bureaucracy checklist continues...
DONE - Registration at City Hall
DONE - Bank Account
_____ - Registration at University
_____ - Visa at Ausländerbehörde
 
This whole process of getting any official paperwork taken care of is constantly going from one place to the other, getting the necessary Bescheinigung, certification/paperwork. You get one administrative office to stamp a piece of paper, and bring it somewhere else. In fact, there are a whole bunch of "Beamtenwitze", or jokes about civil servants/government workers in Germany. "Beamte" is a bit difficult to translate, because it is much more common in Germany and has a slightly different connotation.

Beim Bürgeramt. "Wie viele Beamte arbeiten denn hier?" wird der Bürgermeister gefragt. Dieser überlegt eine Zeitlang und antwortet dann: "Knapp die Hälfte."

At City Hall. "How many government employees work here?", the mayor is asked. He thinks about it a while and then answers, "About half."

Auf einem Tisch liegt ein 100 DM-Schein. Am Tisch sitzen der Weihnachtsmann, der Osterhase, ein schneller und ein langsamer Beamte. Wer bekommt den Hundertmarkschein? Der langsame Beamte, denn den Weihnachsmann, den Osterhasen und den schnellen Beamten gibt es nicht.

There is a 100-DM bill lying on a table. At the table, there sit Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a slow and a fast government employee. Who gets the 100-Mark-bill? 

Answer: The slow government employee, because there is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Fast government employee. 

In order to register as a student at the university, you have to have proof of health insurance. So today we went to the AOK office (public health insurance). It costs about 77 EUR/month for insurance.

Tomorrow, we hope to register as students (pay some fees and get our U-Bahn ticket), and turn in paperwork to start the long visa process. Wish us luck! The office where foreign students can register is only open three days a week, Mon/Tues in the morning, Thursdays for 3 hrs in the afternoon! It's so crazily inaccessible...